God!Why am I not like those evil guys?Why can't I stop feeling guilty?WHY THE HELL DID SHE HAVE TO BRING HER FATHER OUT?!Haish.Know I really regretted what I did.KNOW I REALLY WISHED A CAR HAD CRASHED INTO ME EARLIER!So that I won't be able to hurt that poor girl's heart.Seriously.God.If you have internet connection wherever you at,do a few favours for me.

1. Make it as if I dont exist in this world.
2. Take care of my family.
3. Make sure everybody that Ive ever known bad or good,get one wish fufilled.
4. Exchange my existance with someone who is better in every possible way.

If you fufill these conditions,then I will be soo happy.

Why did I do that?Why was I so heartless?Why was I reacting that way?Why was I having fun?Why was I not caring?Why was I not wearing my mask?Why was I so angry?Why was I so fired up?ARGH!

I know "you" are watching my every move.I somehow know that you are crying,sad that I did what I did.Angry too.Well.If what I asked for happens,I WILL AGAIN BE A HAPPY BOY!I will have the opportunity to hear you scold me,nag and even beat me with a belt(rarely) like you used to.After that I can sleep at your arms once again,peacefully.And rub your rough chin against my cheeks again.I dont care if you scold me for a century,Ill still be happy cos Im with you.

Lead vocals-Fahn

To my dear zaza:If whatever I have posted upsets you,Im sorry.A guy has his moments you know.But why do you take it so hard?I didn't just specifically targetted you.I told EVERYBODY off.Why you being so angry?Yes you were one of the people but EVEN MY BESTIE was told off.Your latest post says about you being angry and stuffs.You the one telling me about not putting on a fake smile and there you were confessing that you were too all along. -.-

Whatever it is,Im sorry!

And&...STOP FIGHTING LAA!You gals are friends for god sake.Why the hell are the both of you fighting?I dont care if you gals wanna kill each other.Seriously.Be my guest.But look who you gals hurting in the crossfire.AHYEEN!Poor her!You two are squaking like ducks and ahyeen sits at the middle and becomes the confused kid.LIKE WTF?!You two shouldn't even be her bf what more friends..Ahyeen is just my friend and I already feel for her.Like wtf?!Stop acting soo childish!No wait...Stop hurting your bf!She's soo hurt!You wanna know how she feels?Go ahead and ask her.if she doesn't blast at you,thats good enough.Luckily for you,she loves you two too much.Haish.Why the hell she treats you two as her bf s when you two don't?Its something called love dumbfucks!So start treating your so called bf with the much desired trust and respect.I am no one to interfere but if this so called no one doesnt,WHO THE FUCK WILL!?God you two are being so stupid.Hate me for all you want.Seriously.I would rather lose two friends than have a friend lose two of her bfs....Be MATURE(hehe..At certain times is good enough,LIKE ME!Weeee)You two have BOOBS already.If you havent then I might understand.(to those who might feel offended by the word boobs,Im sorry.Im an open person. :P)Just stop the hate.And inject the love.

Look at this poor girl with no where to go,

Her eyes are ready to overflow,

Her desperate calls for a stop unheeded,

Loud cries for help undelivered,

So put down those guns and give in,

Cos no matter how hard you two try,nobody can win.

Remember this war you fightin

Who's really the people you killin

The bullets are flyin

Yet hitting the wrong victim

So stop the hate

Take back what you said

Take out those gloves, and

Start showin some love.

The chorus of :The war ain't killin you,its killin others by me!

In its production stages.A song.Told ya I was gonna write a song.hahhaa.

Reasons I put on this mask

1. I hate my loved ones to know I'm sad thus preventing their worries.
2. I want to smile everyday.
3. I won't be able to cheer those I love with problems if I myself can't smile.
4. I don't want people to see my sadness as my weakness.
5. I love to put a smile on other's people faces even if I can't smile.
6. If I show others that I'm sad,the mood around won't be fun.
7. No matter how hard I try,I know there are people who are experiencing far worst consequences,but I still can't smile so I wear this mask for those people.
8. Sick and tired of being sad yet I can't smile so this mask helps me to.
9. I meet new people everyday and first impressions do COUNT.
10. I don't wanna look EMO!

I know Ahyeen..So just shhhhh..Just stop helping.I don't want you to waste your time on me..Go on and live your life with haziq.Maybe seeing you guys happy might make me happy.Who knows?Hahaha.Effort appreciated.Kinda sucks when you know your friends are trying their best but it still doesn't work..Feel so guilty and STUPID.So to all my friends that tried,I'm sorry.

Went to accompany mum and sis to bugis to buy some stuff..Halfway mom told me that if I'm bored I can go join my friends cos I told them that I might have plans tdae.So called zam and he fetched me at bugis.Haha..He called me last night saying that he wants me to join him to this thingy laa at sentosa..I dont know what at that time.So when I reached there,the first person I saw was fazlin,my ex when I was only sec 2.Geeky days.She was too.But now I was like woah!.HOT!Then she looked at me with this look like she's seen me before.

Fazlin:Zam,nie sape sia?

Zam:Members aku la,name phin.

Fazlin:Mcm kenal sia.

Me:BONGOK!Nie raphael laa.Ex ko yg dulu giler2 kan.

Then she was like O-M-G!

Fazlin:BIE!Asl you aleh2 hot sia?

Me:*Takes off helmet and POSE!*

Hahaha..Went to meet his friends all.They had drinks already opened.They offered me but I drank like a bit only cos I didnt wanna make fathia MAD but i didnt wanna offend them by not drinking.Then Fazlin was like all close to me.Like hugging me and stuffs.She wasnt drunk so like WTF!?I just kept quiet.Then she looked at me and told me that im still in her heart.Yeah rite.If I was the same old geeky boy would you have said what you said.She kept quiet.Hahaha.Then I didnt wanna upset her cos I felt vibes from other guys that they were jealous.So i told her I was joking around.She smiled.Then she kissed me.I felt like I was in heaven.I enjoyed it.But then I remeberd what Ive been through so I stop my feelings before I fall for her.Tactics damn funny.I imagined if she was a black girl,round as a ball and 50 years older.Hahaha.She then took my phone and asked me who was all these girls in my phone.PLEASE!Your not my gf.But I told her anyway..My friends la.Duhh..It was mus and kinn and badd sia.Lol..Irritating much.Then she wanted to kiss me again..I immediately said "ALAMAK!ADE MSG!"hahaha...Worked like a charm.Hahhaa.I started to like ignore her..*ignore mode*ahahah..Then zam sent me home..Haish..Damn tired.

Today is the saddest by far for me in 2010.Breaking up with badd and ummm.....Shhh.... ranks only 2 and 3..Today was my lil sis bdae..HAPPY 5th BIRTHDAY LIL SIS!I am so sorry I couldnt bring you here tday.I really miss you.All i can doo is pray for your health and safety.I really miss you so much.I cant help but blame myself for you not being here.I know my mom is sad but she's not showing to not make my siblings sad.But now she is asleep so I can cry myself out.I MISS YOU SAYANG!I REALLY DO!You are my angel.I PROMISE YOU ONE DAY,I WILL BE ABLE TO FETCH YOU EVERYDAY!I PROMISE YOU WILL GET EVERYTHING YOU WANT!BY HOOK OR BY CROOK!I LOVE YOU SOO MUCH!ARGH!I FEEL SO GUILTY THAT I DIDNT MEET YOU!WAAAAAAH!IM REALLY SORRY!

Day by day,things happen to me that will provoke my tears to come out.Call me a crybaby.I dont give a fuck.But know one thing,THIS crybaby cant punch the daylight out of you,so called "gangster".

What is HE trying to tell me?What is HE preparing me for?Is Fazlin,zaza,nicky a way for HIM to make me see how strong I am?I dont know.But whatever HE has prepared for me,I know its HIS plan.I know Im going to HELL if I dont repent now.So all those who know they're going to hell already,see ya there.Cos Im not repenting so soon. =D

Just came back from my skating session cum bikes with kam,mad and farhan..Had a loads of fun.Had fun talking with kam who's been working almost everyday.havent seen him for like how long I also dont know.I missed him.But I couldnt get my mind of what has happened.My life.Haish.Kinda sucks.When I was out there,I didnt think of much.But now that I am at home,BAM!It all comes back to me.Kinda irritating.God I wish there was a delete button in my memory.Each time now when I feel down,those 5 people would enter my mind.And I wouldnt want to disappoint them.But no matter how hard I try,i can't forget you.Haish.Please.Take the shortcut and alleyways thru my mind and get out of it ASAP.I'm sorry to those people that tried to cheer me up and knock some sense in my head.I feel that I have made all your efforts in vain.Guilty conscience.Haish.Im all stressed up rite now.Wanna know how stressed I am?Well.I just bought a pack of cigs at 6pm.Its all finished.Farhan knew that something was up cos I kept puffing away.Thanks for noticing bro.I use to hate you,but now I love you.He asked me so I told him what had happened.He was soo angry.Yeah.But I couldn't help but protect her.Gave all the dumb excuses that even I won't believe it myself.Didnt work.He knew what I was doing.Hee!So it was about 1.30am when we all went home.I skated the whole way back alone.I needed my time alone.hahaha.Sad rite?I know.Hahaha.

Girls rite now just isnt the answer for me.I know this but I cant help myself being swept off my feet.THAT IS MY ONE TRUE WEAKNESS.I fall in love too quickly.Oh and FROGS!hahaha.I know.

*Glued the mask to my face.

Cant take it off now.

HAHAHA!*

1. My name was inspired by my mom's love for the show "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles".The character she loves so much is called "Raphael".
2. I was a target at school for bullies since I started school.Literally.Since I could remember.And that was my kindergarten days
3. People who used to know me will say that I am a TOTALLY different person.Both in personalities and appearance.
4. I confide in my friends more then my gf(if i have one) or my family.
5. Thanks to constant insults from my aunts,uncles and schoolmates,NOTHING but what those people I love say can affect me.
6. Never go into my room.You will not be able to come out again.Too messy.Haha
7. Looks don't matter for me if I'm in love.It doesn't matter if you're SHORT or TALL,RICH or POOR,FAT or SKINNY,BLACK or WHITE.
8. I may be the luckiest guy in relationships for getting those with good looks,but I know I am the unluckiest attitude wise.
9. I like getting screened by cops.I don't know why.I just feel hyper after every.
10. Smiling is like my trademark.I smile when I'm happy,sad,crying,lost,disappointed etc.So it will be hard for you to know what mood I'm in that day.Cos I WILL ALWAYS SMILE.
11. I am very easy to be with,but I'm hard to figure out.
12. I always lie to the people I care about,I never want them to be sad cos I FUCKING hate when they are and its because of me.
13. My family on my dad's side is a family you don't wanna mess with.Even I don't.
14. I will literally get out of the house when my family eats durian.I will not even touch them until they washed their hand with soap till its soo WANGI!
15. My cliques around my house calls me dolphin because...When I just moved here(my house),I love to wear this jersey that had the name dolphin written on the back.Then they kept forgetting my name.Uncommon name so I just told them to call me dolphin. =D
16. Now,I dont have crushes(you like the person but you keep quiet till you have enough courage to ask her out).Once I like the person,instantaneously I will try try to get her.Like now with.....ummmm..Hehehe...Not gonna tell you fools.If you know,please shhhhhh.
17. The last time I had a fever,it was 39.3 degrees and I could still go to town and had fun.I'm used to fever and high body temp.
18. What I may look outside is not nearly as half as what I really look inside.Only a few trusted souls have seen the REAL me.(1st fam,Kam(bestie) and maybe fey(gay bestie))
19. I am a nightowl,LITERALLY.I ususally wake up just after the sun sets(if undisturbed) and sleep rite after the sun rises.
20. If you wanna see the craziest/whackiest,funniest/most hyper side of me,the you should drink with me.

If you wanna know more,go to www.know-me-more-la-stoops.com

If you clicked on this link,that shows how dumb you are.Seriously.Hahahahahha

*Cure me please*

Zaza*ehem*
Yesterday,went to paris with farhan,mad,kam and numan to meet with ahyeen(ziqko's gf) and zaza*ehem*.Hahaha..Its kinda of a surprise for haziq cos he really wanted his gf to be there and she faked that she couldn't.HAHAHA.What a reason.Hahah.Then,prepare all the cakes.Bought some ballons.Blew them up.Unlucky me was the first one to blow up a balloon and the first one to have it explode while blowing.Haha.Ouch.Then it happened like in a movie called final destination.Linked.Soo.I blew them up one more time.EXPLODED RIGHT IN MY FACE AGAIN!Hahaha.Like wtf?!Hahaha.So then haziq came with raf,johan,agust and fey..I am soo jealous of fey's limited edition vans shoe(pink!).I soo wanna get them.Haha.Oh yeah.Back to what hapened.So ahyeen and zaza went to hide.Haziq was distracted.Then they came out and surprised him.He was soo happy.Hahaha..Then we cut the cake as we were tired of waiting for kinn.Kinn,please have the decency la to tell us that you're not coming.Kite tunggu sia.-.-WTF!

Splat!Cake face!hahaha.Ahyeen continued then followed by farhan.Haha.Cake MANIA!hahaha.So we ate and stuffs.HAZIQ!MEE SEDAP!AKU NAK LAGI!HAHAHA.So I was like soo bored and ahyeen was with haziq leaving zaza alone so I chatted with her.She is like SOO CUTE!Hahaha.Seriously..Hahaha.And she's kinda cool.*ehem*Hahaha.And hell yeah we had a good time talking.And we chatted in alomst perfect english.No malays.Hahaha.So after we hung out and whatsoever,it was like going 7.MAGHRIB!Bored!So we went to the swampt.Hahaha.Im gonna leave this part out.CONFUSE!hahaha.I and zaza were always tgther.Guess we talked a lot when the others were like crazy.Hahaha.Nie die tak msg confirm blom lagi bgn!Hahaha.Tak gi skola nye.Haha.So after the swamp incident,we CABOT from numan!hahaha.Damn fun..I was like running slowly.KInda like jogging.OKAE..I was jogging then suddenly I saw something jumped in front of me.ZOOOOOM!FROG!ARGH!hahaha.So we literally slacked and talked a lot.Hahaha.Then time to send the girls zaza*ehem* and ahyeen home.Hahaa.GOT A HUG FROM ZAZA!Weeee...Hahaha.umm.Lazy to type out the rest.Want go sleep.Nite2.I mean goodmorning!

MINAH FANATIC!hahahaa....Seriously...the last few sentences tak perlu but I still cant help it but laugh.hahaha..You really make the joker laugh his balls out.hahahaha..Oops...Dah start senget.haha.Nite2.

Jess,Nicky,Claire

LIKE OMG OMG OMG!Just woke up and remembered what I dreamt..OMG! OMG! Why am I dreaming about us during THAT time? WHY?! WHAT THE?!FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!You're special in a very special kinda way to me but...WHY IN MY DREAM?!I WAS STARTING TO RE-NORMALISE MYSELF THEN THIS HAPPENS!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Now I seriously am thinking of that dream..FUCK! SHIT! CIBAI! BABI! PUKI! NABEY! JUBO! LANCAU! ASSHOLE! ARGH!

Cant think of shit rite now.All you.YOU ! YOU ! YOU ! ARGH!Sometimes I wish there was a "forget " button. DAGNABBIT!

Now those 3 things above can help me destress rite now..Im gonna get them...DONT CARE SHIT! FTW FTW FTW!

Morning to all ya folks...Hahaha...So early yet I'm STILL AWAKE...Hahaha..Reason?Okae..Here goes...My 2 lil siblings was out for 2 days thanx to school..Finally...School does something good for me..FREEDOM!So my mum went out..I understand...Stress bites..She went to meet her frens that she hasn't met since GOD KNOW WHEN...So I was at 702's "old people lepaks corner".Hahaha...Was playing lappy with farhan,mad,kinn and mir..Hahaha..Then kinn had to go home....Then mad told me that they were all going to tam to meet this girl..Haha..I was gonna be all alone at home doing nothing if I didn't follow so I tagged along...Went to this block which was around dunham sec there..Mad kept saying "diamond sec"..Hahaa.Damn funny sia!We were all like kinda curious what this girl looked like...And she had frens so I was a bit anxious...We reached there and we saw the girl...Farhan and I were exchanging blank faces...No offence but DAMN WAS SHE UGLY!Hahaha...With her eyebrows like nike upside down...And her hair....OMFG!Looks like a freaking bird's nest...Like seriously had a bird living in it...OMG!OMG!Hahaha...Then mad was like being shy and all so with enough encouragement from me and farhan...He went and had a 1 on 1 conversation..Haha...And her friends..OMFG!Their personality is soo diff..We introduced ourselves and they introduced back...Mir was like himself...Boldly just eating the girls' "keropok"..Hahhaa...Oh yeah...One of the girl is a lesbian...Oober cool...For me that is...She's kinda fat but damn was she friendly...Haha..And the other looked totally like minah but she was friendly too..What can I say?We are a bunch of friendly guys..^^.Then one of their guyfrens came...DAMN HOT!!!Hahaha...Was wearing long sleeve and shawl...Damn Damn Damn hot!And his hair...Don't get me freaking started...HOT!HOT!HOT!And friendly too...Hahaha...It was about 1.20am when mir told us he had to reach home by 2..Hahaha..So we WALKED home cos none of us had the heart to "chao" cab....Like busted sia...Hahaa...From tam we walked to bedok reservoir..And the girls told us that you could reach resv by 30 mins time..Hahaha..We walked and walked...Reach resv by 3am..Hahaa...We were like a bunch of "drunk" retards..^^Imagine you were in a cab and you saw 4 guys(3 of them half naked) and talking about power rangers..hahaha...Cool rite?I know..Hahaha..Then mir went home and farhan and mad came to my retreat....Hahaha...Mom wasn't at home...Oohh...If only I was like I was before...Home,alone...^^..A lot of things that could be done..Hahaha...All I needed to do was beep anyone....Naughty ol me..ahaha...Then we surfed the net and did a lot of stuffs..Was soo noisy that I think we woke up some of my neighbours..Hahaha..Went down at about 6.30am...ahahaha...Saw all those people going to school...Bunch of "dead" zombies...Everyone's faces was like saying "Can i go to school and bring my bed along?"hahaha...Damn cute sia...Then went home...Mom was alrdy at home...Shit!hahaha...Got a lil scolding about yatayatayatayata...Hahaha..Damn rude sia phin...Lols...But know she's okay...I know how to persuade her...hahaha..SKILLSS!So now I wanna go to sleep...Damn tired...Its like 9.22 am...Hahaha...Nite2..But wait..Its morning..Bt if I say good morning that would mean I just woke up...So goodnite...But its morning.Damn...Its not going to end...hahaha...if this post sounds confusing or don't make sense..I'm sorry ....Nga high ah...Wooooo!NGANTOK DOHH!!Hahahah....lalalala...Bam bam pawz..Haha.KAROT...K bye...Lalalalalala...

Today...Went to meet badd..I was late and there she was texting me "WHERE YOU?!"I know I'm late but don't scold me.I'm sorry...Now that we're not together,you tend to text me in a way that I've never experienced...That makes me sad...Boohoo*cries*...Oh yeah..Was on my way home then texted mad..He was at farhan's so I went there..Amirul was there and he brought his lappy too..Farhan had a lappy too so i took out mine...We all looked like we just opened a lan shop..Hahah...Then haziq came and asked us to accompany him cos he wanted to buy a pair of bootcut jeans...So yeah...We did...Went to tamp...Haziq treated us mac..Hahah..Thanx Ziq!Love ya bro!Then we headed to giordano to buy his pair...Cool dude..Bought a women's pair...Come on!Guy's size in singapore is women's size..Then we decided to head home...Otw..Haziq saw a t-shirt that had oscar the grouch that he wanted...So he bought 3 as it was on offer..Hahha...1 for me and farhan each!Love ya haziq!Thanx!And it was soo tight fitting it made me feel kinda sexy..Oh yeah...Before that..We went to toy's r us..Fooled around there...Farhan was stuck at the ben 10 section obviously..I walked around the store hugging a doll of patrick star!Yippee...Everybody was looking at us with that look that they're thinking that we're a bunch of retards...Haha..WHO GIVES A FUCK!I dont!Deal with it!hahhaa!Here are the pics we took!

Tday I was soo fucking bored at home..So I went down at baout 5.Met fey,eyza,mad n some other people I didnt wanna know about..Oh yeah...Adam the great Babboon was there..Thinking he's all cool all of a sudden..hahaha...Went to buy some cigs..Then went to ate...Sat down at 534 and switched on my lappy for a while..Full connection..Yay!hahaha...Fey was talking about his maple and stuffs..Then ahlpe and loq came..Sat down for a while...Took this one pic..Hahaha

Oh yeah...Went to tiong bahru mall 2 days ago..With farhan,kinn,amirul and mad.hahaha...Damn fun sia..In the bus we were making such a ruckus..Kinn couldnt shut up...hahaha...Ate ananas stuff...Was raining so we ate at the carpark..ahhaaha